Tamago Kake Gohan

Tamago Kake Gohan is for mornings when your stomach is feeling a little rough. Or any other morning, but also those. If you leave out the spicy bits, it’s nice and gentle.

Feel free to go nuts with it, though. You’re all grown up.

Maddy’s feeling a touch rough today.

You'll need a staple grain

Y’all got rice cookers, you can ignore this bit and also go to hell because I don’t.

Three parts rice, four parts water. 1½ cups rice, 2 cups water.

Start bringing it to a boil.

Maybe some veg

Gonna chop some veg, because I love the taste of its mangled corpse.

Teach your veg a lesson

Cleaver: Maximum Metal.

Double double

Once your rice comes to a boil, stir immediately, cover, and immediately turn down to the lowest setting.

Okay, google

Okay google.

Set a timer for fifteen minutes, and stop tracking my every move.


Gotta blanch our veg. Boil some water and pour it on.


This’ll brighten the color and keep the onions from being too strong.







Veg and spice

Veg, and also guest star Gochujang. Cameo by hot chili oil.

Beaten sauce

Weep as you gently bully your sauce until it has complicated feelings about gender later in life.

Sorry. I’m all mixed up here.

Beaten rice

Beep beep, motherfucker. Rice is done.

Bully it too.

Now you’re sobbing, wondering if you’re really trans, or if it was just trauma.



Introduce the two

Dry your eyes. You’re queer as hell and loving it.

Mix some steaming hot rice into your sauce. The heat will cook it.

Glam shot 1

You’re finally coming into your own as a trans woman.

And you made tamago kake gohan.

Glam shot 2

*sniffle* Sorry that got real, I’m a bit emotional today.


  • A sauce pan, at least a quart
  • Serving bowl, but you’re gonna mix stuff up in it
  • Chopsticks, fork, something to mix stuff up
  • A cup or whatever to blanch your veg in


1½ cups short-grain rice
2 cups water
1 egg
idk like a tbsp soy sauce
some veg
maybe also some spice. Gochujang, sriracha, chili oil, sesame seeds, etc.


  1. Make your rice. Bring the rice and water to a boil in a pot. Once it boils, immediately turn the heat down to the lowest setting on your stove. Give it a stir, and cover. Cook for fifteen minutes.
  2. Chop up some veg. It’d be a good idea to blanch it, too: pour boiling water over it and let it sit for about thirty seconds before draining.
  3. Combine your egg, soy, veg, and spice in a bowl. Beat them up.
  4. Once your rice is done, beat that up, too, then re-cover and remove from heat. Let it sit for two minutes.
  5. Stir hot rice into your egg/soy sauce. The heat from the rice will cook the egg. Add rice as you need until it’s not too salty. Add soy if it needs more salt.